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It has been a while since I've released new music. This is equally exciting as it is nerve wracking and overwhelming. COMBAT is probably my favorite song I've ever made. I’ve always felt a bit in awe of it, I could just sit there and listen to the chord progression and that sparkly synth in a loop for hours. When I wrote lyrics and a vocal melody for it the awe was renewed and struck once again in full force making me sit down just in awe with it for months..
Then, finally when it was time to finish the mix and I felt there was still something missing from the beginning, I wanted to add a simple air texture, so I added my voice with some very aggressive EQ to bring out the airiness in it, still not enough air. I thought about the texture of the sound of air, how could I record it, or make it with a synth? And when was the last time I could recall truly hearing air in a controlled environment? (not noise filtered from a synth, not my voice eq-ing all the non-air qualities out of it but simply air)? It was when I heard my friend Jesse Scheinin play saxophone. So I texted him, asked him to record this simple intro of just air coming through his gorgeous, dark, muffled saxophone, no notes just breath. He sent the recording back, I added it to the session and sat back in awe once again because the song transformed, once again, into a thing of its own. It finally found -and told me- what I wanted to be. And it was air. More winds. Jesse ended up recording saxophone, clarinet, flute and his own voice for COMBAT.
I finished it and sat back, once again in awe. I still feel the same way every time I hear it. And while rehearsing for the upcoming live shows I have not been able to sing it all the way through without my voice cutting out in my throat from the overwhelming emotions. You can see a bit of this on the video. It isn’t acting -that whole interpretation at the end is just me trying my best to sing this song with a straight face. The direction of the video wasn't intended to be what it ended up being for that last shot. It was just me singing into the camera, but as you'll see in the video, COMBAT visibly moves me a bit too much to be able to -just sing-. We’ll see how I do live with it, jeje.
There is so much about the song and what I feel when I listen to it that I don't quite understand. Even though I made it and I know absolutely everything that is happening at every second in it.
I know this isn’t what you might expect from a first single after not putting music out for a while, but take COMBAT as a portal to someplace new, one that takes time and benefits from it, so please, give it the time it asks of you.
Love,
Ela